About 2 hours ago, I submitted my NSF Graduate Research Fellowship Proposal. I'm excited about the project, which I will actually start next week, and I have a halfway-decent chance at getting the Fellowship.
I'm now climbing out of the hole that application made in my life - the sunlight greeting is an exaggeration, I will admit, but my life has been far more work than fun for the last few months. The NSF hasn't been the only big work thing looming over my life, but it was the biggest deadline. Now that it's over, I can do things like grocery shopping (not wasteless unfortunately, but now I have food in my cabinet again so I'm accepting that for the moment).
I definitely started myself off onto the wrong foot this semester. I've been running nonstop since I went to France for a conference in August, to the point where even taking time to have dinner with friends or cook or relax on my own felt hard. I got a few moments - weekends or days away where I intentionally left the computer behind - but overall, I have been a little ball of stress. And it's affected my life in a lot of ways.
For one thing, I haven't been shopping the way I want to. In some ways, that's been good because I've been using up things in my cabinet. On the other hand, I've had a CSA share in my fridge for 2 weeks and I should probably deal with that, but I haven't felt like cooking for a while. I finally ran out of things in my cabinet and had to go to the neighborhood grocery store, rather than to the CoOp I'd rather shop at but which is far away. And, particularly in the last week I've just been eating out. My wallet's not thrilled with me, nor is my conscience.
I also learned that when I don't get to spend time with friends, especially when I'm stressed and really do need to talk, I become a giant crankypants. The day before a midterm several weeks ago, I nearly yelled at one of my officemates (of which I have 6, which is a whole other issue) and had to cut myself off midway through a loud, frustrated outburst in response to him. At which point I walked to a nearby park, sat down, cried, and realized that I was not ok. I've been spending more time with friends and with myself, but I need to give myself permission to continue doing so.
In short, I've learned that work will expand to fill the time I give it. I'm hardly the first person to learn this lesson, I know. But it was hard to be in the middle of it, knowing that I needed to relax and slow down but feeling trapped by the need to get everything done. I could have asked my advisors and collaborators to give me a week or two off, but I wasn't willing to. My classwork is mediocre, so I feel like I have to prove myself with research, but the lack of hard deadlines within that is messing with my head. I'm impatient to get things done, and wanting to impress, but I need to stop biting off more than I can chew. Otherwise, I'm gonna burn out.
Anyway, that's me. Hopefully regular posting will now resume, and there will be one less thunderous looking graduate student on campus.
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
I wish I was canning
At the beginning of the summer, I decided that canning was going to take up too much time, so I didn't invest in a canning kit and jars. I figured I could freeze what I needed.
Well, I'm taking up half the freezer. I was so used to my old roommate never using the freezer, I forgot what it would be like to seriously share it. One of my roommates is also freezing food for the winter, and we're running out of space fast. I'm not sure what we would do if our third roommate were using the freezer in any significant way. She's moving in a few weeks, so she hasn't added much, but I could see it getting bad if three of us wanted to use significant amounts of space.
But here's the problem. I have 5 weeks left in my CSA. In those 5 weeks, also I need to do the following things:
Grrr!
(p.s. my CSA list is the same as it's been for weeks, so I'm just not posting it)
Well, I'm taking up half the freezer. I was so used to my old roommate never using the freezer, I forgot what it would be like to seriously share it. One of my roommates is also freezing food for the winter, and we're running out of space fast. I'm not sure what we would do if our third roommate were using the freezer in any significant way. She's moving in a few weeks, so she hasn't added much, but I could see it getting bad if three of us wanted to use significant amounts of space.
But here's the problem. I have 5 weeks left in my CSA. In those 5 weeks, also I need to do the following things:
- Finish the paper from my 1st-year project. That WILL happen by Friday.
- Finish the paper from my undergraduate project. My 2nd-year project is with a group that is co-lead by of my coauthors. She's apparently complained about this enough that my PI says my first month is just finishing this old paper.
- Apply for an NSF fellowship (this assumes the shutdown is resolved before that deadline). I have no idea what my research plan will be.
- Grade 2 undergraduate midterm exams.
- Take my own midterm exam.
Grrr!
(p.s. my CSA list is the same as it's been for weeks, so I'm just not posting it)
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
Summer Goals Recap
I had 5 goals for this summer. How did I do?
1. Work hard and efficiently at research. This is why I'm here.Subgoals: Get the paper from my undergrad project submitted and through
revisions (that depends a bit on collaborators and reviewers). Get
the paper for my current project finished by the time I go to a
conference at the end of the summer (in France!)
The first half of this, I think I did alright on. There were definitely some questionable days, but I'm overall pretty happy about how I did.
Subgoals: not met. I mostly blame collaborators on the undergrad project, because they didn't get back to me for the entire summer until 3 days before I left for my conference. For my current project, I'm getting close, and since I have to turn a write-up into my department next Friday, I'm pushing to finish the actual paper by then and just turn it in to the department as well.
2. Get my NY residency squared away and transfer all my mail, etc, up
here. I'm no longer a dependent on my parents for tax purposes, so I'm
ready to transition away from MD being my primary residence.
Yeah, didn't happen.
3. Get my savings in order. I set aside some money throughout this year, but didn't do anything with it besides stick it in the bank. I have a mutual fund that is wanting for contributions, and I want to open a retirement account. Subgoals: talk to HR since they sent me a letter about retirement plans, and research said plans.
Accomplished. I opened a Roth IRA, and had a phone conversation with a Vanguard rep who talked over some of their offerings with me. For the most part, it wasn't anything I hadn't seen on the internet, but it was nice to actually talk with someone and hear things laid out for me specifically. I haven't contributed to my mutual fund, but I'm not sure whether I will, since it's not tax-deferred.
4. Sort some personal stuff out that's currently keeping me from dating anyone, and some other stuff that's screwing up my relationship with my parents. These might be the same stuff; I'm not yet sure.
Sort of. I've identified some of the issues with my parents, and I'm working on strategies for improving that relationship. Related to dating...well, I'm making progress. I think I'm nowhere close to getting everything sorted, but I'm starting to be ok with going forward and continuing to work on myself, rather than stall. That could be good or bad, we'll see.
5. Eat or preserve everything in my CSA share each week.
Not perfect. Maybe 1/3 of the weeks something's gone bad before I could eat it, but it's gone pretty well aside from that. I've done very little preserving, but that will be changing in the fall since I plan on freezing a lot of things.
1. Work hard and efficiently at research. This is why I'm here.
The first half of this, I think I did alright on. There were definitely some questionable days, but I'm overall pretty happy about how I did.
Subgoals: not met. I mostly blame collaborators on the undergrad project, because they didn't get back to me for the entire summer until 3 days before I left for my conference. For my current project, I'm getting close, and since I have to turn a write-up into my department next Friday, I'm pushing to finish the actual paper by then and just turn it in to the department as well.
Yeah, didn't happen.
3. Get my savings in order. I set aside some money throughout this year, but didn't do anything with it besides stick it in the bank. I have a mutual fund that is wanting for contributions, and I want to open a retirement account. Subgoals: talk to HR since they sent me a letter about retirement plans, and research said plans.
Accomplished. I opened a Roth IRA, and had a phone conversation with a Vanguard rep who talked over some of their offerings with me. For the most part, it wasn't anything I hadn't seen on the internet, but it was nice to actually talk with someone and hear things laid out for me specifically. I haven't contributed to my mutual fund, but I'm not sure whether I will, since it's not tax-deferred.
4. Sort some personal stuff out that's currently keeping me from dating anyone, and some other stuff that's screwing up my relationship with my parents. These might be the same stuff; I'm not yet sure.
Sort of. I've identified some of the issues with my parents, and I'm working on strategies for improving that relationship. Related to dating...well, I'm making progress. I think I'm nowhere close to getting everything sorted, but I'm starting to be ok with going forward and continuing to work on myself, rather than stall. That could be good or bad, we'll see.
Not perfect. Maybe 1/3 of the weeks something's gone bad before I could eat it, but it's gone pretty well aside from that. I've done very little preserving, but that will be changing in the fall since I plan on freezing a lot of things.
Sunday, September 8, 2013
CSA Week Something: Classes have started, but I made good pasta sauce
Argh. Radio silence was due to vacation combined with a conference in Europe, and then having less than 24 hours between landing and my first class. And tomorrow I start teaching!
This week, we got:
After Tuesday, I made a couple big batches of food from Grandma's recipe book :) First up was corn pudding - I boiled the corn on Wednesday, ate one ear, and sliced the kernels off the rest. On Thursday night, I mixed the fresh corn with a can of creamed corn and made a half-size batch of corn pudding.
Also on Thursday, I made my Grandma's pasta sauce recipe. My mom sent it to me last week, and I realized I'd gone hunting the internet and came back with a crappy sauce recipe, when I have a "Grandma's Recipe Book" sitting on my shelf from last Christmas, filled with trusted recipes. So a much simpler recipe and 4 hours later, there's a lovely dish of pasta sauce in my freezer, ready for lasagna this winter.
I ate the tomatoes that didn't go into the sauce (the 10 smaller ones) with mozzarella cheese, basil from the plant I got from the CSA months ago, olive oil, and balsamic vinegar. So tasty, and so easy.
Finally, I started my freezer prep for the winter. Or, well, I guess I started that before I left for vacation, but I'm now doing it consciously. I LOVE bell peppers, and last year I learned to love chili, along with other dishes that need onions and peppers once they're gone from (or questionable at) the farmer's market. So I freeze them. I've got a couple containers of chopped bell peppers, and one of chopped onions, for chili and similar things. This year I also decided to try freezing some thin strips of onions and peppers for stir-fries and omlettes, so I've got a container of those as well. I could easily fill our entire freezer, but I think my roommates would not appreciate that. I think the department freezer has some space, though....hmmm ;)
This week, we got:
- Corn
- Tomatoes (1 large, 3 medium, 5 purple-y and 5 yellow plum ones)
- Cucumber
- Zucchini/Summer Squash
- Basil
- Lettuce
- Arugula
- Bell Peppers
- (Chili Peppers) traded for a bell pepper and another squash
- Edamame
- Potatoes
After Tuesday, I made a couple big batches of food from Grandma's recipe book :) First up was corn pudding - I boiled the corn on Wednesday, ate one ear, and sliced the kernels off the rest. On Thursday night, I mixed the fresh corn with a can of creamed corn and made a half-size batch of corn pudding.
Also on Thursday, I made my Grandma's pasta sauce recipe. My mom sent it to me last week, and I realized I'd gone hunting the internet and came back with a crappy sauce recipe, when I have a "Grandma's Recipe Book" sitting on my shelf from last Christmas, filled with trusted recipes. So a much simpler recipe and 4 hours later, there's a lovely dish of pasta sauce in my freezer, ready for lasagna this winter.
I ate the tomatoes that didn't go into the sauce (the 10 smaller ones) with mozzarella cheese, basil from the plant I got from the CSA months ago, olive oil, and balsamic vinegar. So tasty, and so easy.
Finally, I started my freezer prep for the winter. Or, well, I guess I started that before I left for vacation, but I'm now doing it consciously. I LOVE bell peppers, and last year I learned to love chili, along with other dishes that need onions and peppers once they're gone from (or questionable at) the farmer's market. So I freeze them. I've got a couple containers of chopped bell peppers, and one of chopped onions, for chili and similar things. This year I also decided to try freezing some thin strips of onions and peppers for stir-fries and omlettes, so I've got a container of those as well. I could easily fill our entire freezer, but I think my roommates would not appreciate that. I think the department freezer has some space, though....hmmm ;)
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